What is it Like to Experience Career Anxiety at an Employer Networking Event

Hi Everyone, so far I have just worked on adding a foreground to my anecdote and cleaned-up some of the anecdote, part II will hopefully come tomorrow.

On November 4^th I coordinated a career networking event with 54 local employers coming The the TRU campus to share their career advice.  Over 190 students attended the event in the gym.  That afternoon while we were setting up the gym for the event I was talking with one of the volunteers, Anesha,  about how excited she was to meet Geography employers.  Anesha graduates in April from the Bachelor of Arts program with a major in Geography.  She considered this event a first step in beginning her career.  She had her questions to ask and knew what employers she wanted to talk to.  But as the event came and went I was very surprised that I didn’t see Anesha.  When I ran into her the next day she described the experience of how she decided not to attend the event below.   

As I headed to the TRU Gym to go to the career networking event I was thinking “I am going to find someone to hire me.”  I knew this was an excellent opportunity to meet employers and to ask some career questions that are getting more important now that I am almost finished school.  But as I walked up the steps to the gym I felt my jitters increase.  My stomach was unsettled, almost nauseous.  My hands were clammy and I could feel blood rushing to my face.   As I climbed the steps I could hear excited voices behind me accompanied by faster footsteps.  As the group of three students passed me I could hear one of them say she graduates next semester and wants to meet the mentors from KPMG.  “Me too I think!!   I want to meet the employer that will offer me a job.”  I reviewed the list of employers and knew who I wanted to meet.  I even had questions to ask.  As I reached the top of the stairs I moved to the side of the double doors, and stopped.  I was surprised by how much the gym had changed from just an hour ago when it was organized, quiet.  There were just volunteers working, setting up the tables, the balloons, the name cards.   As I scanned the gym I could see the rows of tables and balloons floating in the air. The 54 tables didn't seem overwhelming  this afternoon, but now it was different.  But the energy was different.  There was a hum of voices, dozens of students were already talking to employers and the event hadn’t officially started yet.  I was a little envious of the students already talking.  They seemed so prepared, certain of their questions and comfortable with their conversations.  And I still don’t know if I should continue with Geography or switch to Social Work.   The dialogue in my head was loud and fast. What if an employer sees through my indecision?  What if they see my fraud? My jitters were getting worse. My inner voice was saying it is easy, all I have to do is find a table and sit-down. After my first conversation it will get easier.  I can do this! I have to do this!   All this time, money, and energy put into getting good grades is useless if I don’t get a job out of it.  What will my parents say?  They have worked hard to pay for my tuition fees.  What if I somehow make a fool of myself and leave a bad first impression?  More students pass me as they enter the gym, seemingly with no hesitancy.  “Oh my God, Oh my God, there are a lot of people here.  I’m not ready for this!” I take a step back, my decision has been made and I turn my back on the experience.

Step 2, Reflective and interpretive text, to follow tomorrow (hopefully) when the flu subsides and my cognitive capacity isn't compromised by the congestion, the medicine or the headache.