The following passage is from The Diary of Anne Frank, first published in 1947. Through these first-person words Anne offers a reflective lens into her career desires that transcend life and death in a seemingly incompatible dance of acceptance and denial. Oddly, although the university students I work with are not in such perilous situations as Anne, their life experiences just as heavily impact their career choices. Like Anne, their careers aspirations are influenced by self-awareness, contradictory feelings, the need to make a difference, and the desire to have a purpose. The theme of accepted mortality versus a fight for survival help to illuminate these notions.
I finally realized that I must do my schoolwork to keep from being ignorant, to get on in life, to become a journalist, because that’s what I want! I know I can write ..., but it remains to be seen whether I really have talent ...
And if I don’t have the talent to write books or newspaper articles, I can always write for myself. But I want to achieve more than that. I can’t imagine living like Mother, Mrs. Van Daan and all the women who go about their work and are then forgotten. I need to have something besides a husband and children to devote myself to! ... I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that’s why I’m so grateful to God for having given me this gift, which I can use to develop myself and to express all that’s inside me! When I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappears, my spirits are revived! But, and that’s a big question, will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer?
Through her words Anne is expressing an emerging self-awareness of her identity in the past and present, while expressing a desire to change this identity in the future using her “God given gift” of writing. And through this desire to reinterpret herself Anne demonstrates a fight for survival. She expresses a desire “…to keep from being ignorant, to get on in life…” Her fear of being “ignorant” or “unknown"[1] especially considering the perilous world of uncertainty she is living with (being Jewish in Nazis occupied Holland in the War while living in a secret annex), impacts the temporal dimension of time. She is able to imagine her future taking shape by fighting for survival - while admitting to her mortality. In her remaining time she wants to leave a lasting impression “to go on living even after my death!”
The immense uncertainty that Anne is living with also impacts space, which affects the way she feels. These feelings are often in contradiction of one another such as “sorrow” and “excitement”, “life” and “death”. Yet the space helps to make sense of the contradictory nature of these words, helping the reader to discover how it is possible to fight for survival while at the same time accepting death may be imminent. Anne notes that “when I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappear, my spirits are revived...but will I ever be able to write something great?” These words help to reveal the complex notion that it is possible to both deny and accept death.
Through the lived relation Anne has with other women in the secret annex her social sense of purpose is greatly impacted. As she states “I can’t imagine living like mother, Mrs. Van Daan and all the women who go about their work and are then forgotten.” Anne wants a meaningful life, a sense of purpose, to be more useful. Her relation to her potential self versus her aspired self is another demonstration of her fight for survival, for remembrance. In these words Anne is also revealing much about her bodily presence. She wants to be seen as more than a wife and mother, she wants to be seen as a talent, perhaps as a “journalist or a writer.” In this modality she will BE, even after death.
This passage from Anne’s diary helps demonstrates an intricate unity, between time, space, relation and body in which Anne is able to weave the seeming dichotic elements of mortality and survival into one fabric. Exploring this theme through a career lens, she is conceding she is mortal and death may soon come, yet in her passion to live, to have a remembered voice, her writing will ensure her survival. Through reflecting on this the seemingly incompatible dance, the dance changes, it becomes one of grace and poise that leaves me with a sense of wonder. And this dance oddly enriches my understanding of student’s career aspirations today and how life heavily impacts this.
Dear Susan
ReplyDeleteDichotomies seem to be prevalent in phenomenological analyses of lived experience and this was an effective technique to use to examine this passage.
I was most interested in the lived relation Anne had with other women and it reminded me of how social location - gender, age, class, religious affiliation - all intersect in the perceptions of self. You explicate clearly Anne's inner turmoil and aspirations to make an impact on others, "even those I've never met." There is a sense of urgency in this passage as if time is running out. The desire for perpetuity, to "go on living even after death", is an expressed tension that many experience as death encroaches. Your analysis of this narrative using the duality of accepted mortality verses fight for survival helped illuminate for me the depth of these contradictory feelings. I really liked how you also tied your own work with university students with whom you work into your analysis.
Wow, what a choice of source, Susan. Yes, there is a strong sense in Anne’s writing of both permanence and the great uncertainty of her situation.
ReplyDeleteThe feature that has always struck me most about the Diary of Anne Frank is the abrupt end of the writing. There is no conclusion, so resolution, no final notes about different characters, just a harsh reminder that this is not a work of fiction. Both Norm and Merilee have focused on silence in their research, but Anne Frank’s silence is different. It is a complete silence – a final silence. How ironic that despite Anne’s desire to use her writing to “go on living even after my death”, it is her ending in silence that is most memorable. And it’s the silence that makes me feel most keenly the need for change in this world.
“Let us be kinder to one another.” (Aldous Huxley on his deathbed)
Hi Susan and Brenton!
ReplyDeleteSusan, thanks for such an eloquent analysis. It shows the impact that words can have.
Brenton! I love your comment, "Anne Frank's silence is different. It is complete silence - a final silence" Ah..such a deep statement...underlying the importance of silence..and its power and layers. I enjoy that her silence (lack of words or sound) can have your spirit so charged! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
:-) Merilee
Hi,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I suspect others did what I did, and spent hours upon hours (upon hours) searching for an appropriate anecdote. I am still not sure if mine is “phenomenological worthy’ but it did really help me look at career decision making from a different perspective – who would have thought Anne Frank’s words could have done this.
In regard to silence, wow, what a perceptive insight. Brent, you have put words to a feeling I could not articulate. I think you brought it to my consciousness (if that makes any sense). It is kind of like that word at the tip of your tongue, you know the context and definition, but can’t find the exact right word to express it. For me the silence was a lingering thought on Anne’s writing I just couldn’t quite grasp. As I reflect on the silence I am struck by the complexity of human existence(s) and the realities it exemplifies. Anne’s silence can be interpreted in dozens, hundreds, perhaps thousands of different ways. The silence may be the most memorable for some, but for others the interpretation may be different. As Merilee expressed so articulately “such a deep statement...underlying the importance of silence..and its power and layers.”
Wow, I especially liked how you found all four existentials in this piece. The illumination of time, for a person who was so able to be in the present moment, but with hope of embracing a future was powerful for me. {I should be so lucky} Great piece of writing from yourself and a wonderful source of reflection and inspiration.
ReplyDeletethank you Iris