Touchstone: Finding a Lump in the Breast
By Susan Underwood
The Question:
The title of this article attracted me because I had a lump in my breast and was curious about how another woman experienced this phenomenon. But like this deceptively complex article title, identifying the question was difficult. It wasn’t until I peeled back the layers of questions and discussion that I concluded the question was simple, the article just had complex ways of attending to it. The question, “what is it like to find a lump in the breast?” is addressed through exploring seven thought provoking topics, however it is not possible to discuss all these questions in a 750 word blog so I have decided to review (1) mortality, (2) Underwood’s sense of dwelling in her body, and (3) her changing perspective on the essence of living.
Underwood addresses the question on finding a lump in the breast using a complex technique that alternates between her personal descriptions, quoting a poem on bereavement and breast cancer (see link below) and using journal excerpts from cancer patients. In my first few readings of the article I couldn’t recognize the difference between the author’s voice and the quotes, but careful re-readings cleared up my confusion and demonstrated that this technique enriched the article by expanding on the author’s experiences, insight and description – addressing the question on a deeply intimate level.
How the Article Addresses the Question:
Underwood uses the following quote to launch an inquiry on her changing views of mortality after discovering the lump “Once I accepted the existence of dying, as a life process, who can ever have power over me again?” (Lorde, as quoted in Underwood). The author goes on to describe the implication of how discovering a lump in her breast, in time, forced her to admit to her mortality. Through this admittance Underwood was changed forever, recognizing that death would come and that without fear of death there was an enhanced power in living.
This flows into Underwood’s relational questions on dwelling and the body as separate from being , describing the process of the body changing from an “entity of oneself” to a sense of being “ousted from our dwelling places” when the lump was discovered. She questions who has the right to be in her - her ‘being’ or her ‘lump’? Her body couldn’t hold both. Underwood expands her discussion on this through questioning what is the touchstone, “a black gritty stone once used as a testing base for metals. They would strike the metal against it and know its content purity by the mark it left.” (Webb, as quoted by Underwood). This leads to an interesting line of questions. Does the touchstone refer to how the discovered lump (the strike) in the breast exposes her essence, her being, her purity? Does the piece of metal being stricken (her body) refer to mortality? I don’t think these questions are supposed to have one correct answer. Rather they invite a dynamic multitude of considerations that deepen the contemplation of what it means for Underwood (and perhaps for others) to find a lump in the breast.
Underwood goes on to analyze how finding a lump in the breast caused her to consider the quality of her life, changing her perspective on life-world connection. This seems to lead to a cathartic realization of the temporal nature of her body and life, learning to treat both with care. Underwood skillfully concludes her article, pulling together all the threads of addressing her main question while including the voices from the journals and poem. She writes “finding a lump in the breast, searching for an understanding of this experience, deepens the connections to the life-world and at the same time frees us to live in this world in a new way. For once the immanence of our beings is embodied in our thoughts and actions, we no longer move in silence and fear, but with greater grace and eloquence step slowly toward our end.”
These words resonated with me because of the questions they evoked. Am I living life with grace and eloquence? Have I lost perspective on my life-world connection? Do I recognize my mortality? How did my views on these topics change with my discovered lump? These are deep thoughtful questions, that I didn’t anticipate asking after reading a short article. Yet asking the questions shows the power of a well written, thought provoking, phenomenological paper where the author uniquely engages in her experience of discovering a lump in the left breast.
*I am including a link to the poem used in this article, by Adrianne Lorde, A Woman dead in her forties. Reading the poem helped me understand the context for the quotes, (and the music is very good). http://poemsandtheirmusic.blogspot.com/2009/07/woman-dead-in-her-forties-by-adrienne.html
Thank you, Susan, for directing my attention to this very powerful reading. I find certain subjects between the sexes, let alone within the sexes, particularly difficult to share and this was one of them.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your review, I was compelled to read in its entirety Adrienne Rich’s poem, “A woman dead in her forties”. Poets “remind us of absence, ambiguity, embodiments of existential possibility”, doing so “with passion” and, thereby, “awaken us to reflectiveness” (Maxine Greene). The poem heightened my sensibilities and prepared me for the emotional impact of the article itself. Phenomenology touches intimate subjects that often stir up settled sentiments lying deep within us, simple questions with intricate elucidations. Your review of the article clearly explicates the essential qualities of the phenomenological experience presented by Susan Underwood. I found that her personal narratives entwined throughout the article help bind the spiraling hermeneutics of the subject and I felt that this technique grounded me in the interpretations. I, too, however, was confused at times recognizing the author’s voice amongst the journal entries from other authors. The dichotomy of the touchstone metaphor, as you stated, invited a “dynamic multitude of considerations that deepen[ed] the contemplation of what it mean[t]…. to find a lump in the breast”.
I am interested in the whole concept of embodiment and how the perception of “the integrity of our body” manifests our being as well as our vulnerabilities. Your review of the article increased my awareness of my “connections to the life-world”, but also raised many questions about how self-image is central to our well-being and “wholeness” of self.
Gloria Mertens
Hello Gloria,
ReplyDeleteAs usual your words are thought provoking and demonstrate a grasp of the subject that is inspiring. I especially identified with your statements on this being a difficult subject to talk about, and the questions raised with the description of “self-image being central to our well-being.” Both of these statement I have brooded over and was very engaged in how they were addressed in the article. Had the blog length been a little longer I would have enjoyed exploring these in more details.
In your comments I particularly enjoyed your wording "Phenomenology touches intimate subjects that often stir up settled sentiments lying deep within us, simple questions with intricate elucidations." Since our first Hermeneutic Phenomenology class I have been struggling to find the words to describe the power of this writing. The words I attempted to string together didn't seem to do it justice. Your statement is a wonderful combination of words that helped me enhance my emerging understand of phenomenology and find more effective ways to describe this type of research. Thank you.
Hi Susan!
ReplyDeleteThank you for selecting this article! It took me a couple of days of gathering courage to actually read it. I am also someone who has found themselves in this situation (twice). One time was just after my mom recovered from breast cancer. For me, this article was very helpful because of the anecdotes. Although I should not have been, I was surprised to see how similar some of my thoughts were to the experiences presented in the anecdotes. I think the article also helps me to articulate some of the feelings that I experienced. Grace, life, eloquence.. life-world connection... the body as separate from being.. all things that I thought about but did not have the words to express. Once again shows how valuable and powerful anecdotes can be in this writing. Thanks! Merilee
Susan
ReplyDeleteI'm so pleased you had the courage to read and review this article. I too have had that 'lump experience' and the way that one's whole existence (all the existential dimensions)hang on this 'lump thing'. Time stops, there is the present, but the future? The body - how could it have given house room to a lump - a lump that might determine the future of the whole body? The article and your review of it also surfaces the abuse of 'the breast' in society. A breast signifies so many multiple and conflicting meanings - no wonder they get sick.
I think the paper might be weakend by drawing too much on a particular sensibility as articulated powerfully by Adrienne Rich. That powerful voice seems to overshadow the phenomenologically oriented insights of the author, and maybe interfere with the power of her own lived experience?